WHY Claire is Ready to go Back

I haven’t been home for break even a week and yet I am ready to go back. No, I don’t mean I’m ready to jump back into school mode. I am loving break for that reason. I’m talking about a reason that I wasn’t really prepared for. I am talking about being back in my dorm, where I have been living (3 weeks in my single). I am talking about my routine. I am talking about being with my friends. I’ve grown accustomed to a certain way of living and I miss it. I have so much time on my hands, I don’t know what to do with myself. I am reading. I am napping. I am Netflixing. I am doing things to fill my day. Some of it brings me joy, like I’m reading a new book that I have wanted to but didn’t have time for, but mostly it’s just to fill a void. I took a three hour nap in the evening after getting up for the day a mere four hours earlier. That’s saying something.

WHY You Need Marble Jar Friends

Let me start this post by saying that if you don’t know who Dr. Brené Brown, you are missing out big time. Brené Brown is a leading expert on shame and vulnerability. In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown has came up with a term called Marble Jar friends. She shares a story of her daughter Ellen’s teacher who had a marble jar in her classroom. The teacher used it as a way to keep track of the kids’ behavior. A marble was added when the children made good choices and removed when they made poor decisions and were disruptive. If the jar got filled the class got to celebrate. Brene is using Marble Jar friends as a way to describe what a trusting relationship looks like. She says, “Trust is like a marble jar… You share those hard stories and those hard things that are happening to you with friends who, overtime, you’ve filled up their marble jar.” Therefore, trust is a reward that must be earned. Brown defines connection as,”the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.

I have had the privilege of having some truly incredible friends in my life. Going away for school I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to connect and make new friends. If you know me, then you know that I am very shy. I am so happy to say that despite my shyness, I made great friends here. One of the things that isn’t always apparent when you decide on going to a school away from home is how lonely it can feel. The first month was hard. I didn’t know anyone here. I felt so isolated. Then slowly but surely, I started gravitating towards a handful of people who live on my floor. I love the laughs, smiles, fun adventures. These people that I have surrounded myself with have become some of my best friends. Friends are the family that you choose. I am so grateful for my family on fourth floor Curran-McNeil. It makes me so very grateful to have made the leap to decide to move away and go to school at UWS. I still miss home and my family, but I no longer yearn to be home. I’ve found it powerful having a routine, and adjusting my mindset to campus being my home (at least for 9 months out of the year). I go home and visit when I really need a mom snuggle or kitty cuddle. It helps that it only takes me two and a half hours to go home. If I needed it, I could go home and back to school in one day. I thank God for my family and friends. They make my world.