WHY MEMORY IS MYSTERIOUS

The brain is an astonishing organ. It is so complex and interesting.

I had a weird spatial memory occurrence this evening. Now for those of you who aren't psychologists, neuroscientists, or if you just aren't aware of the different types of memory like me, let me define it for you. The online enclycopedia, Britannica defines Spatial memory as "the storage and retrieval of information within the brain that is needed both to plan a route to a desired location and to remember where an object is located or where an event occurred." The last part is what I experienced.

I was at the same church, in about the same place doing something else but I was brought back almost four years ago. I don't know if it was because my life was chaotic back then and it is kind of still but in different ways. Or if the people involved are on my mind. Regardless of the reason, I was engulfed in and it was almost like an out of body experience where I was still participating in this service but my mind was replaying the events of the other service.

The brain attaches not only information but also emotions to literally everything. It was surreal.

WHY GRIEF ISN'T LINEAR

If you have ever had anyone that you loved or even liked die, you have experienced grief. There is this idea that grief has five stages in it; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. The thing that doesn't get talked about is that there is no order and you can bounce around and experience a stage more than once or skip one all together. There is a saying that time heals all wounds. I do believe that time does help but that doesn't mean you can't experience grief a month, a year, five years, or 10 years after the fact.

I'm 22 years old, I have had three dogs, two guinea pigs, a hamster, and a bunny pass away. I have also experienced the loss of all three of my grandparents (Unfortunately, I did not get to meet my grandpa Don). I was with my grandpa Dan in the final stages of his life and I was present when our dog Reva took her last breath.

It's all connected. When I was with my dog, it also brought me back to the death of my grandparents. Since, some of my cousins have had children, they will never get to meet their great-grandparents, I wish that my grandparents could see the newest generations grow.

Something triggers my grief and I have to re-recognize their absence from my life. Or a life event or milestone happens that I have to acknowledge that they are no longer here for.

If you don't know what I'm talking about check out this video, which is funny but it's also sort of accurate.

Grief sucks, but without it you don't get to experience the love. And the love, my friends, is worth all the heartache. So love fiercely, be kind, and be brave.