WHY Parents Are Important

What Makes A Parent?

5/20/14

           There are instances in life that are life altering, defines us, and changes us. April 4th, 1994 was one of those moments for Mary. After 11 hours of labor, her hair the color of dark coffee beans ruffled up and sprayed every which way; with olive bloodshot green eyes marveling at her beautiful baby girl who was just born. Sara Horton, a tiny baby with light sunny blonde hair with wisps of sandy wood brown hair. Another moment that changed Mary’s life was May 1st, 1998. After months of paperwork, evaluations, and flights from Guangzhou, China to Hong Kong, China to Tokyo, Japan, and finally arriving in Saint Paul, Minnesota in the United States totalling 18 hours; Mary had her 15 month old small Chinese girl, Yung Chun Chi who later became Claire Horton. These two moments in Mary’s life were very different, unique, wonderful, and amazing. These moments were the beginning of Mary’s journey as a parent to two children. Being a parent is like living in Minnesota; there are cold and bad winter days but there are also gorgeous sunny summer days. It’s a mix without the luxury or choice of picking what you get. It is a job that lasts a lifetime. Being a good parent requires showing love, having resources, and letting the child be their own self.

It is important for kids to know that their parents love them. It is essential to having the child grow up with a well rounded knowledge of what a healthy relationship is. Love can be shown in multiple different ways. Parents can show their love by appropriate physical affection, verbalizing praise, saying, “I love you,” etc. The encouragement that I get from my parents about my dreams and goals is outstanding. My mom tells me constantly, " You can do whatever you put your mind to; if I can help, I will." The love that I feel from my parents is consuming. My mom and I show our love by spending time together when we watch Grey's Anatomy. We watch it in the basement on our dinosaur of a tv; being about 25 years old. It is big and black. The show serves as something we can talk about and it connects us. The involvement in your life from your parents is a requirement to enhance the bond between child and parent. Participating in activities with your child can show him or her the love and affection that you have have. Children of involved parents are less likely to participate in risky behaviors such as smoking, drinking alcohol or fighting, according to the Kentucky Department for Public Health. This makes it safer for the child and their friends, plus the parents would be more aware of what is going on in their child’s life. The love and support my parents surround me with is the most important thing that has helped shape who I am.

Having resources available is essential to make sure that the child is taken care well. Money is an important resource to have when you have children. According to a U.S. Department of Agriculture report, It will cost an estimated $241,080 for a middle-income couple to raise a child born in 2013 for 18 years. This cost doesn’t include college costs. In this day and age having money means having opportunities. Another important resource to have is medical and dental insurance. Annual visits to the doctor, over the counter pharmaceuticals, dental clean ups, and unplanned trips to the hospital all cost money; having insurance helps lower the money that you have to pay out of pocket. Another resource is having help when you need a break. Friends, parents, neighbors, and other family members are great people to help out. This is essential to prevent unplanned abuse stemmed from various emotions like anger, annoyance, frustration,etc. The state of mind also is in play; for example, if the parent has insomnia. The well being of the child is of utmost importance.

Every person is unique and has their own identity. It is important for the parents to remember this and not force their own dreams and goals onto their child. If the parent squanders their child's pursuits the relationship can become strained and it opens up to resentment. Children need to know that they are heard and have valid claims about what they want out of life. Parents should support their child with intention; so the child will know that their parents are putting in effort and care about the results.

Everyone needs to have every level of Maslow’s Hierarchy pyramid met, especially children. This is key to living a healthy and happy life. Imagine a world where parents forced children to follow in their footsteps; it would be a chaotic and disastrous world where happiness was not the goal. Families would be forever changed. The main reason we are who we are is largely shaped around who are parents are. A good parent will be able to show affection, have additional help and financial assurances, and let their child be themselves with unconditional love. Good parents will raise their children to be good parents which will impact the world for the better. This increases the potential for humanity.